(Message to my mom from when she had not yet shed her old skin - 05/26/2022)
Mom, forgive me for being tough on you, for judging and pressuring you. Also, forgive me for not hugging you in the most difficult moments of your life and for rejecting your invitations to travel. I want to hug you, but it's so hard for me. I need to learn.
Now, allow me to share my thoughts with you about life and death.
I believe we are energy, soul, and consciousness, universe, and space. We are more than the body, our instrument to inhabit the earth. Each soul receives this gift to enjoy the realm of flowers and trees, to experience scents, flavors, and touch. The body is our tool to feel and, in doing so, create memories, recollections, and evolve. It is fragile and organic, and one day, we must leave it. We shed our skin, but the soul and its essence exist in space; they will find another matter to experience the material plane.
You are not your body or your thoughts, feelings, memories, or recollections. You are part of the universal energy. Everything else belongs to you and deserves your attention and care, but it is not you.
That's how I see it, and when the time comes for your light to let go of everything belonging to earth, I know your energy and soul will always be intertwined with mine, as one entity. Perhaps the skin, marked by wounds, has stood in our way and, for reasons unknown to me, has not allowed our energies to embrace and our souls to touch.
I am at peace with the possibility of your departure because I know it's not only your body that brings me happiness. I love you, your energy, your being. I know I will feel you in that space where memories merge, and we can relive them. It has been a challenging process, but I know that space where time and the body do not exist. That's why I no longer want the wounded flesh between us or among the other people I love. To achieve this, I must learn to feel my body, let it be, and allow it to cry and embrace. I must surrender without resistance.
My body, my home on earth, the visible portal between your soul and mine.
This is my goal: to allow the body to be the bearer and giver of my light, to allow it to be the messenger of the universe and my ancestors, to allow it to manifest and materialize the messages and gifts I receive.
Mom, I know our energy exists, it flickers, but it exists forever.
On earth, my religion is life.
In space, energy.
In me, the soul.
In others, my light.