What’s on the other side of trauma?
We survivors of trauma do our best to protect ourselves from the past. We get out of bed and get busy, devoting our time to the kids, chores, school, or work. We fabricate excuses to stay busy. Sometimes, when there is nothing else to get distracted with, we find refuge in addictions. Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, social media, tv, shopping, gambling, overthinking, you name it. We can get addicted to anything that will calm our mind and numb the feelings. At night we go to sleep wishing that in the morning, the pain will be gone. These toxic self-soothing techniques have carried us for years, but they have carried our monsters too.
The good news is that if we make space to feel the pain from the past, we can overgrow our monsters. The problem is that right now, that space is full of unhealthy behaviors that leave us drowning on feelings of guilt and shame. Our distractions offer momentary relief. They are our easy way out, but unfortunately, there is no easy way out of healing from trauma.
To heal from trauma, you need to find yourself on the other side of it. You need to go through it and suffer again, knowing that there is a positive outcome. I did it. I forced myself to enter my trauma and walk in its darkness. I reached the other side guided by the light of pain, and the hand of my inner child, who wanted me to heal so I could see her, hear her, love her, respect her and be with her every second of my life. It was painful, but the pain was over quickly. It was intense, but you can take it because what you will find on the other side of trauma will give you your life back.
On the other side of trauma, you will find joy, smiles, and the great happiness that lives in your heart. You will find calmness to wander in your mind. You will be able to control the space of your mind, deciding when to allow a though to come in or when to stop it. You will have the ability to reject an intrusive memory or drag it to the trash can if you need to.
On the other side of trauma, you will hug your inner child. You will get down on one knee and tell her that you’ve arrived, that you are here for her to go back to be as innocent as a kid should be. You will look her in the eyes and tell her that you are now the adult she needs you to be.